Introduction to the Devout LifeChapter VII. Of the second purgation, which is that of affection to sin

Although all the Israelites departed in effect out of the land of Egypt, yet they did not all depart in affection; wherefore many of them regretted in the wilderness their want of the onions and flesh-pots of Egypt. In like manner, there are penitents who in effect depart from sin, but yet quit it not in affection; they propose to sin no more, but it is with a certain reluctancy of heart that they deprive themselves of, or abstain from, an unhappy delectation in sin. Although they renounce and avoid it, they nevertheless often look back upon it, as Lot’s wife did towards Sodom. They abstain from sin, as sick men do from melons, which they forbear to taste, because the physician threatens them with death if they eat them; but it is with the utmost reluctance that they refrain from them. They talk of them incessantly, and are unwilling to believe them hurtful. They have a continual longing for them, and think those happy who may eat them. Such is the case with loose and weak penitents; they abstain for some time from sin, but it is with the utmost regret; they would rejoice if they could sin, and not be damned; they speak of it with a certain pleasure and relish, and think those who sin more at ease. The man who was resolved to be revenged on another changes his mind in confession; but shortly after you we must distinguish two different acceptations of these words. For if, by affection to sin, we understand the wilful love, or desire of sin, or a “voluntary complacency, or delight in the thought of committing sin, it is certain that in this sense an affection to mortal sin is in itself a mortal sin. But the holy prelate does not take the affection to sin in this sense. He only means by the affection to sin, a certain propensity and inclination to sin, contracted by a former evil habit, which is apt to remain in the soul, as a relic of the old leaven, after her conversion to God, and her reconciliation in the sacrament of penance, which, though upon reflection the soul resists it, is, nevertheless, of a very dangerous nature, if not diligently purged away, according to the sentiments which the Saint here inculcates. may find him among his friends, talking with pleasure to them of his quarrel, and saying, “Had it not been for the fear of God, and that the divine law in this article of forgiving is hard, — would to God it were allowed to revenge one’s self!” Ah! who does not see, that although he be delivered from the sin, he is still entangled by an affection to it; and that, being in effect out of Egypt, he is still there in affection, longing after its garlic and onions; as a woman, who having detested her impure love, is, nevertheless, pleased with being courted and followed! Alas, in how great danger are all such people!

If you desire, O Philothea! to undertake a devout life, you must not only cease to sin, but also cleanse your heart from all affections to sin; for, besides the danger of a relapse, these wretched affections will so perpetually weaken and depress your spirits, that they will render you incapable of practising good works with alacrity and diligence, in which, nevertheless, consists the very essence of devotion. Souls that are recovered from the state of sin, and still retain these affections, are, in my opinion, like minds in the greensickness; though not sick, yet all their actions are sick; they eat without relish, sleep without rest, laugh without joy, and rather drag themselves along than walk. This is exactly the case with those here described: they do good, but with such a spiritual heaviness that it ‘takes away all the grace from their good exercises, which are few in number and small in effect.