Letters258 Letter CCLVIII. To the same, for brother Rualene. (A.D. 1145)

Bernard begs that Brother Rualene, who had become Abbot of S. Anastasius, might be allowed to resign his post.

In truth, I find that our Brother Rualene has not yet learnt to acquiesce in his position, and I cannot hope that he ever will. Therefore, both for him and for me, there is need of a speedy remedy. I tell you that I am even consumed so long as he is made to offend. Do not be surprised at this; we are of one soul, except that I am the mother, he the son; for the name and authority of father I have yielded to you. That alone which could not be transferred, the affection which is torturing me, that remains to me still. A mother cannot forget the child that she bore (Is. xlix. 15). The sadness of my breast, and the grief of my heart for him, proclaim me his mother. You ask what I complain of? About myself I complain to you, about you I complain to myself. I, a cruel yet loving mother, spared not my own child, that I might purify my heart by loving obedience. I have offered a dear pledge of my bosom as a sacrifice, not of constraint, I admit, but willingly did I obey that will which constrains whom it will. But he thought not so. When constrained by me as well as by you he struggled, though in vain. Had I, then, any reason to fear that he would always resist so obstinately? It is the mark of a loving heart to yield to stubbornness which will not allow itself to be placed in its proper position. Besides, to hold one against his will to a position in which he was placed against his will is hard for him, beneficial to no one. Again, to occupy the ground and not to bring forth fruit is not good for the ground, and is not becoming to you or to me. No one, as blessed Ambrose says, does good under compulsion, even if what he does is good, because the spirit of fear avails nothing when the spirit of charity is absent (S. Ambr. in Ps. i.). And so I beseech you by the bowels of mercies of our God to show the love of a father and send back to his mother's breasts the child, while he lives, whose whole weakness is, perhaps, caused by his having been weaned too soon. It is better to suffer him to live than to divide him. What profit is there in his blood? One thing I know, and that is that it is not a lather's or a mother's voice which says, Let it be neither mine nor thine, but let it be divided (1 Kings iii. 26). Perhaps you are not afraid of this, because you do not believe that it is likely to happen. But his letters and murmurings which frequently come to me fill me with fear of such an issue, for he is threatening to fly and to divide himself, or rather to tear himself asunder both from you and me.