Letters154 Letter CLIV. To the same (Circa A.D. 1136)

He excuses himself for having been unable, on account of business, to visit the Chartreuse, as he had promised. He sends some of his Sermons on the Canticles.

I can no longer conceal the sorrow of my heart, nor hide my distress, from you, my very dear Bernard. 1 recollect my long-standing promise; it has been my purpose and strong desire to pass by your way, to visit again those whom my soul loveth, to ask for rest on my journey, some strength to bear my labours, some remedy for my sins; and in punishment of my sinfulness it has come to pass that though I have the will, yet I have not the power to visit you. Be assured, O man of God, that this is by no means due to the disinclination, or idleness, or negligence of your friend, but that a cause has intervened which might not be neglected, and that was the cause of God. None the less I am devoured by vexation as by a gnawing worm, and my heaviness is ever in my sight. And, indeed, I have more than enough of other troubles, but none so great as this. It is more than the toils of travelling, the unpleasantness of the heat, the anxieties of my affairs. Lo! I have opened my wound to a friend; it is yours now to sympathize with me, to bear with me what I suffer, that I may be relieved. I earnestly ask for your prayers, and for those of the saints who are with you. I am sending on to you the promised sermons on the beginning of the Canticles, which you asked for. And when you have read them, I beg you to give me your advice as soon as possible whether I ought to give them up or proceed with them.