Letters218 Letter CCXVIII. 1143.) his last letter to innocent II.; in self defence

Bernard having remarked that he had lost the favour of Pope Innocent, on account of the will of Cardinal Ivo, humbly justifies himself.

To his lord and most reverend Father INNOCENT, BER NARD, a thing of nought, wishes health.

1. I used to think at one time that I was of some account, though of small; but now I feel I have simply been reduced to nothing while I knew it not. For I would never have said that I was nothing at all while the eyes of my lord were over his child, and his ears open to my prayers, whilst all that I wrote he received with open hands, read with smiling face, and while he answered most graciously and fully all my demands. But now I do not say that I am of small account, I am of none; because since yesterday and the day before his face has been turned away from me. Why is this? what wrong have I done? Much, I admit, if the money of Cardinal Ivo, of good memory, was distributed according to my will, and not according to his directions, for I am told that this has been brought before the notice of my lord. But I trust that by this time you know the truth of this matter, and the truth shall make me free. I am not so dull as not to know that whatever he left no directions about becomes the property of the Church.

2. But now hear the simple truth. If falsehood is found in my mouth, my own mouth shall condemn me. When the man put off his mortal frame I was absent, nay, at a long distance. But I heard from those who were present that he made his will, and had what he wanted written down; and of his property he divided what he would to whom he would, and whatever was over he entrusted to the two Abbots who were assisting him, and to me who was absent, with a view to its distribution; because the poorer places of the saints were known to us. Then the Abbots returned home, and not finding me (for I was kept at that time in accordance with your orders by the negotiations for peace), they nevertheless divided the money as seemed good to them, I not only not conniving, but not even knowing what they had done. Let now, if you please, your indignation give place to this manifest truth, and henceforward look upon me not frowningly or in displeasure; but let your wonted serenity return to your kind and gracious countenance, and let your face once more assume its brightness and joy.

3. As to your complaint that you have found much in my letters to displease you, I shall not have to fear it any longer, lor it is a fault which I will soon cure. I know it, I know it, I have presumed more than I ought to have done; not thinking sufficiently who I was and to whom I was presuming to scribble; but you will not deny that your kindness had armed me with that boldness. And then the love of my friends urged me to it; for I wrote very little on my own account, if I recollect aright. But enough of this. I will for the future put a rein on my zeal, be more wise, and put my finger to my lips. For it will be more tolerable to offend some of my friends than to weary with many prayers the Lord's anointed. And at this time too I have not ventured to write to you about the clangers overhanging the Church, and about the grievous schism which I fear, and the many evils we are suffering from. But have written to the holy Bishops around your person; you can, if you wish it, hear from them what I have written.