Letters87 Letter LXXXVII. To Oger, regular canon. (Circa A.D. 1126)
Letter LXXXVII. To Oger, regular canon. (Circa A.D. 1126)
Bernard blames him for his resignation of his pastoral charge, although made from the love of a calm and pious life. None the less, he instructs him how, after becoming a private person, he ought to live in community.
To Brother OGER, the Canon, Brother BERNARD, monk but sinner, wishes that he may walk worthily of God even to the end, and embraces him with the fullest affection.
1. If I seem to have been too slow in replying to your letter, ascribe it to my not having had an opportunity to send to you. For what you now read was written long since, but, as I have said, though written without delay, was delayed for want of a bearer. I have read in your letter that you have laid dowrn with regret the burden of your pastoral charge, permission having been obtained with great difficulty, or rather, extorted by your importunity, from your Bishop; and only on the condition that you should remain under his authority, though fixing yourself elsewhere. But this not being satisfactory to you, you appealed to the Archbishop, and, obtaining the relaxation of this condition, you have returned to your former house and put yourself under your original abbot. Now you ask to be advised by me as to how you ought to live henceforth. An able teacher, indeed, and incomparable master am I! And when I shall have begun to teach what I do not know myself, it will soon be discovered that I know nothing. You act, in consulting me, as a sheep who seeks wool from a goat, a mill expecting water from an oven, a wise man expecting sound counsel from a fool. Besides this, you heap upon me, from one end of your letter to the other, complimentary speeches, and attribute to me excellences of which I am not conscious; and as I ascribe them to your kind feelings, so I forgive them to your ignorance. For you look upon the countenance, but God upon the heart; and if I examine myself with attention under His awful gaze, I find that I know myself much better than you know me, since I am much less far from myself than you are. Therefore I give greater credence to that which I see in myself than to what you suppose, without seeing, to be in me. Nevertheless, if you may have heard from me anything that is profitable to you, give thanks to God, in whose hand I am and all my words.
2. You explain to me also for what reason you have not followed my advice, not only not to allow yourself to be discouraged or overcome by despondency, but to bear patiently the burden laid upon you, which once undertaken you were not at liberty to lay down; and I accept your explanations. I am well aware, indeed, of the infertility of my wisdom, and I always hold myself in suspicion for rashness and inexperience, so that I ought not to take it ill, nor do I, when the course which I approve is not taken; and I wish, on the contrary, that action should be taken on better advice than mine. As often as my opinion is chosen and followed I feel myself weighed down, I confess it, with responsibility, and await with inquietude, never with confidence, the issue of the matter. Yet it is for you to see if you have acted wisely in not following my advice about this thing it must be decided also by those wiser persons than I, on whose authority you have relied, whether you 3. You may indeed be congratulated, since you are thus exonerated; but I fear lest you have, as much as lieth in you, taken from the glory of God, whose will you, beyond doubt, resist in casting yourself down from the post to which He had advanced you. Perhaps you excuse yourself by pleading the necessity of religious poverty; but it is necessity that brings the crown, in rendering achievements difficult and almost impossible; for all things are possible to him who has faith. But answer to me what is most true, that you have consulted your own quiet, rather than the ad-he tries to justify his quitting his see, and opposes numerous examples of conduct similar to his, to the blame of the Pope and the cardinals.
vantage of others. Nor is this strange. I confess that I, too, am pleased that quiet should delight you, if only it does not delight you too much. For that, even although a great thing, which pleases us to such a degree that we wish to bring it about, even although by wrong means, pleases us too much; and because it cannot be brought about by right means, it ceases to be good. For if you offer rightly, but do not divide rightly, you have sinned (Gen. iv. 7, Ixx). Either, therefore, you ought not to have accepted the cure of the Lord's flock, or, having accepted it, ought not to have relinquished it, according to those words: Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed (1 Cor. vii. 27).
4. But to what end do I strive in these arguments? To persuade you to take your charge again? You cannot, since it is no longer vacant. Or to drive you to despair by fixing upon you the blame of a fault which you are no longer able to repair? By no means; I wish only that you should not neglect the fault you have committed, as if it were nothing or nothing much, but that you should rather repent of it with fear and trembling, as it is written: Happy is the man that feareth alway (Prov. xxviii. 14). But the fear which I wish to inspire is not that which falls into the nets of desperation, but which brings to us the hope of blessedness. There is, indeed, a fear, useless, gloomy, and cruel, which does not seek pardon, and, therefore, does not obtain it. There is also a fear, pious, humble, and fruitful, which easily obtains mercy for a sinner, however great be his offence. Such a fear produces, nourishes, and preserves not only humility, but also sweetness, patience, and forbearance. Whom does not so blameless an offspring delight? But of the other fear the miserable progeny is obstinacy, excessive sorrow, rancour, horror, contempt, and desperation. I have wished to recall you to the remembrance of your fault, but only in order to awaken in you, not the fear which produces desperation, but that which produces hope; being afraid lest you should not have any fear at all, or should have too little.
5. There is something, however, which I fear still more for you, namely, that which is written of certain sinners, that they rejoice in having done evil and delight in wicked actions (Prov. ii. 14); that you should be deceived, and not only think that what you have done is not wrong, but also (which, God forbid) glory in your heart, thinking that you have done something great, and which is usually done by few, in renouncing voluntarily the power to command others, and, despising rule, have preferred to be subjected again to a ruler. That would be a false humility, causing real pride in the heart of him that should think such thoughts. For what can be more proud than to ascribe to spontaneous and, as it were, free choice that which the force of necessity or faint-hearted weakness obliges us to do? But if you have not been forced by necessity or exhausted by labour, but have done it willingly, there is nothing more proud than this; for you have put your own will before that of God, you have chosen to taste the sweetness of repose rather than serve diligently in the work to which He has set you. If, then, you have not only despised God, but glory in utterly contemning Him, your glorying is not good. Beware of boastfulness and self-satisfaction; more useful for you were it to be always in care, always humbly trembling, not, as I have said, with the fear that provokes wrath, but with that which softens it.
6. If that horrible fear ever knocks at the door of your soul to terrify it, and to suggest that your service to God cannot be accepted, and that your penitence is unfruitful because that in which God has been offended by you cannot be amended; do not receive it even for a moment, but reply with confidence: I have done wrong indeed, but it is done and cannot be undone. Who knowrs if God has foreseen that good should come to me out of it, and that He who is good has willed to do me good even from my evil? Let Him then punish the evil which I have done, but let the good which He had provided for remain. The goodness of God knew how to use our ill-governed wills and actions to the beauty of the order which He established, and often, in His goodness, even to our benefit. O indulgent bounty of Divine love towards the sons of Adam! which does not cease to load us with benefits, not only where no merit was found, but often even where entire demerit was seen. But let us return to you. According to the two kinds of fear which are distinguished above, I wish you to fear, and yet not to fear; to presume, and yet not to presume. To feel that you may repent, not to feel that you may have confidence; and again, to have confidence that you may not distrust, and not to be confident that you may not grow inactive.
7. You perceive, brother, how much confidence I have in you, since I permit myself to blame you so sharply, to judge and disapprove so freely what you have done, when perhaps you have had better reasons for doing it than have hitherto been made known to me. For you have not perhaps wished to state those reasons in your letters, by which your action might well be excused, either through your humility or through want of space. Leaving, then, undecided for the present my opinion about any part of the matter with which I may not be fully acquainted, one thing that you have done I unreservedly praise, namely, that when you had laid down the yoke of ruling, yet without a yoke you were not willing to continue, but took up again a discipline to which you were attached, without being ashamed to become a simple disciple when you had borne the title of master. For you were able, when freed from your pastoral charge, to remain under your own authority, since in becoming abbot you were released from the obedience owed to your former abbot. But you did not wish to be under no authority but your own, and as you had declined to rule over others, so you shrunk from rule over yourself; and inasmuch as you thought yourself not fit to be the master of others, so also you did not trust yourself to be your own master, and in your distrust of yourself, even for your own guidance, would not be your own disciple. And rightly. For he who makes himself his own master, subjects himself to a fool as master. I know not what others may think of this; as for me, I have had experience of what I say, that it is far more easy and safe to govern many others than my own single self. It was, therefore, a proof of prudent humility and of humble prudence that, by no means believing that you were sufficient for your own salvation, you proposed to live henceforth by the judgment of another person.
8. I praise you also that you did not seek out another master nor another place, but returned to the cloister whence you had gone forth, and to the master under whom you had made progress in good. It was very right that the house which had nurtured you, but had sent you forth through brotherly charity, should receive you when freed from your charge, rather than that another house should have in its place the joy of possessing you. As, however, you have not obtained the sanction of the Bishop for what you have done, do not be negligent in seeking it, but either yourself, or through some third person, be prompt to give him satisfaction as far as is in your power. After this, study to lead a simple life among your brethren, devoted to God, submissive to your superior, respectful towards the older monks, and obliging towards the younger. Be profitable in word, humble in heart, pleasing to the Angels, courteous to all. But beware of thinking that you have a right to be honoured more than others because you were once placed in a position of dignity, but show yourself as one among the rest, only more humble than all. For it is not becoming that you should be honoured on account of a post, the labour of which you have shunned.
g. Another danger also may arise from this of which I wish to forewarn you and strengthen you against it. For as we are very changeable, and it frequently happens that what we wished for yesterday to-day we refuse, and what we shrink from to-day to-morrow we desire, so it may happen sometime by the temptation of the devil that, from the remembrance of the honour you have resigned, a selfish desire may knock at the door of your heart, and you may begin weakly to covet what you bravely resigned. The recollection of things which before were bitter to you will then be sweet; the dignity of the position, the care of the house, and the administration of its property, the respectful obedience of domestics, the freedom of your own actions, the power over others; it may be as much a source of regret to you that you have given up these things, as it was before of weariness to bear them. If you yield even for an hour (which may God forbid) to this most injurious temptation you will surfer great loss to your spiritual life.
10. This is the whole of the wisdom of that most accomplished and eloquent Doctor, by whom you have wished to be taught from such a distance. This is the eulogy, desired and waited for, which you have been so eager to hear. This is the sum of all my wisdom. Do not look for any other great thing from me; you have heard all. What can you require more? The fountain is drained, and would you seek water from the dry sand? I have sent you, according to the example of that widow in the Gospel, out of my poverty all that I had. Why art thou ashamed, and why does thy countenance fall? You have obliged me. You have asked for a discourse; a discourse you have. A discourse, I say, long enough, indeed, but saying nothing; full of words, empty of meaning. Such is the discourse which ought to be received by you with charity, as you have requested it, but which only seems to reveal my lack of knowledge. Perhaps it would not be impossible for me to find excuses for it. Thus I might say that I have dictated it while labouring under a tertian fever, as also while occupied with the cares of my office, while yet it is written, Write at leisure of wisdom (founded on Ecclus. xxxviii. 25). I should rightly put these reasons forward if I had adventured upon some great and laborious work. But now, in such a brief treatise that my engagements afford me no excuse, I can allege nothing, as I have often said already, but the insufficiency of my knowledge.
11. But I console myself in my mortification by consider-ino- that if I had not done as you requested, if I had not sent what you hoped for, you would not have been quite sure of my goodwill to-day. I hope that my good intention will content you when you see that the power to do more was wanting to me. And although my Letter be without utility to you, it will profit me in promoting humility. Even a fool when he holdcth his peace is counted wise (Prov. xvii. 28), for that he holds his peace is counted to him as the reserve of humility, not as want of sense. If, then, I had still kept silence, I should have had the benefit of a similar judgment, and have been called wise without being so. But now some will ridicule me as a man of little wisdom, some laugh at me as ignorant, and others indignantly accuse me of presumption. Do not think that all this serves little to the profit of religion, since humility, which humiliation teaches us to practise, is the foundation of the entire spiritual fabric. Thus humiliation is the way to humility, as patience to peace, as reading is to knowledge. If you long for the virtue of humility, you must not flee from the way of humiliation. For if you do not allow yourself to be humiliated, you cannot attain to humility. It is a benefit to me, therefore, that my ignorance should be made known, and that I should be rightly put to confusion by those who are instructed, since I have often been undeservedly praised by those who could not form a correct opinion. The fear of the Apostle makes me fear when he says, I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which lie seeth me to be, or that he heareth of me (2 Cor. xii. 6). How finely he has said spare [restrain you. The arrogant, the proud, the desirous of vain glory, the boaster of his own deeds, who either takes merit to himself for what he has done, or even claims what he has not done, he does not restrain himself. He alone who is truly humble, he restrains his own soul, who is even afraid to let the excellency that is in him be known, that he may not be thought to be what he is not.
12. Great in truth is the danger, that anyone should.speak of us above what we feel our desert to be. Who shall give me to be as deservedly humiliated among men for well-founded reasons as I have been undeservedly praised for ill-founded ones? I should, then, be able to take to myself the word of the Prophet: After having been exalted I have been cast down and filled with confusion (Ps. Ixxxviii. I,VULG.), and this, 10ill play and will be yet more vile (2 Sam. vi. 21, 22). Yes, I will play this foolish game that I may be ridiculed. It is a good folly, at which Michal is angry and God is pleased. A good folly which affords a ridiculous spectacle, indeed, to men, but to angels an admirable one. Yes, I repeat; an excellent folly, by which we are exposed to disgrace from the rich and disdain from the proud. For, in truth, what do we appear to people of the world to do except indulge in folly, since what they seek with eagerness in this world we, on the contrary, shun, and what they avoid we eagerly seek?' Upon the eyes of all we produce the effect of jugglers and tumblers, who stand or walk on their hands, contrary to human nature, with their heads downward and feet in the air. But our foolish game has nothing boyish in it, nothing of the spectacle at the theatre, which represents low actions, and with effeminate and corrupt gestures and bendings provoke the passions, but it is cheerful, honourable, grave, decent, and capable of delighting even the celestial beings who gaze upon it. This it was he was engaged in, who said, We are made a spectacle to Angels and to men (1 Cor. iv. 9). May it be ours also in this meantime, that we may be ridiculed, confounded, humiliated, until He shall come who puts down the powerful and exalts the humble, to fill us with joy and glory, and to raise us up for ever and ever.
Totis visceribus charitatis amplectendo fratri OGERIO canonico, frater BERNARDUS monachus, sed peccator, digne Deo conversari usque in finem.
1. Si tibi ad tuas litteras tardius videor rescripsisse, noveris potius opportunitatem nuntii defuisse. Quas enim nunc primum legis, jamdudum crede dictatas: sed, ut dixi, propter latoris inopiam tardavi mittere, quod scribere non tardavi. Legi itaque in tuis litteris, te illam, quam graviter ferebas, curae pastoralis sarcinam deposuisse, licentia siquidem ab episcopo vix impetrata, imo extorta tua importunitate: et hoc non aliter, nisi ut in ejus episcopatu, quocunque alibi manens, ab ejus subjectione non recederes. Tu vero cum tibi hoc non placeret, archiepiscopum adiens, et ab ipso tanquam superiori auctoritate securitatem accipiens, ad priorem locum, et ad tuum abbatem reversus es. Ubi qualiter post haec vivere debeas, a me doceri flagitas, egregio utique doctore et magistro incomparabili, qui cum coepero docere quod nescio, vel tunc incipiet sciri quam nihil scio. Itane lanam quaerit ovis a capra, aquam molendinum a furno, verbum sapiens a stulto? Praeterea per totam seriem litterarum attollens me supra me, multum de me laudabilia intermisces: quorum quia ipse mihi conscius non sum; et tuae haec benevolentiae adscribo, et ignosco ignorantiae. Tu enim vides in facie, Deus autem in corde: sub cujus tremendo aspectu si sollicite me circumspicio, certum est quod eo ipse mihi notior sum quam tibi, quo propinquior. Ideoque magis credo mihi de me videnti me, quam tibi opinanti de me quod non vides in me. Quod si quid forte a me audisti quod posset prodesse tibi, gratias Deo age, in cujus manu sumus nos et sermones nostri.
2. Satisfacis etiam mihi pro eo, quod consilium meum non tenueris, confortantis te et monentis animo non frangi, pusillanimitate non vinci, sed portare patienter onus impositum, quod semel susceptum deponere non licebat: de qua re ipse mihi, sicut postulas, satisfacio pro te. Agnoscens siquidem sapientiae meae siccitatem, imo insipientiae meae semper suspectam habens temeritatem; cum non fit quod fieri laudo, nec audeo, nec debeo indignari, desiderans quemque consultius agere, quam a me acceperit. Quoties vero mea sententia eligitur ac tenetur, gravi, fateor, onere me premi sentio, rei finem semper pavidus et nunquam securus exspectans. Videris tu tamen, si consulte meum de hac re consilium mutaveris. Viderint hi quorum saniori, si quorum tamen, super hoc fretus es consilio, an rationabiliter egeris. Viderint, inquam, si liceat Christiano injunctam sibi dimittere obedientiam ante mortem, cum Christus factus sit obediens Patri usque ad mortem. Etiam, inquis, per licentiam: nam quaesivi eam ab episcopo, et accepi. Bene, licentiam quidem quaesisti, sed quomodo non licebat; ac per hoc non accepisti, sed extorsisti. Extorta autem seu coacta licentia, licentia non est, sed violentia. Quod ergo tua importunitate victus episcopus fecit invitus, non fuit absolvere, sed abrumpere.
3. Congratulor quidem tibi, quod sis exoneratus: sed vereor ne Deus a te, quantum in te est, exhonoratus sit; cujus procul dubio ordinationi resistis, dum promotus ab illo tu te dejicis. Quod si excusans paupertatis praetendis necessitatem; necessitas parit coronam: si difficultatem, si impossibilitatem; omnia possibilia sunt credenti. Sed responde quod verius est, quia scilicet placuit tibi magis quies tua, quam utilitas aliena. Nec mirum: placet fateor et mihi, quod haec quies placeat tibi, si tamen non nimis. Quodcunque autem bonum ita placet, ut si recte fieri non possit, placeat tamen fieri eo etiam modo quo fas non est, nimis est: ac per hoc jam quia bene non fit, non est bonum. Scriptum est enim: Si recte offers, et non recte dividis, peccasti. Aut ergo oportuit te gregem dominicum minime servandum suscipere, aut susceptum nequaquam relinquere, juxta illud: Alligatus es uxori? noli quaerere solutionem.
4. Sed ad quid nitor his ratiocinationibus? Nunquid suadeo tibi redire ad onus regiminis, cum jam non pateat locus recuperationis? aut desperare te intendo, quasi qui te tali ligaveris culpa, quam jam solvere non possis? Absit! sed tantum nolo te illud, tanquam nullum vel parvum malum, negligere; imo semper timere, semper poenitere, semper securum non esse, sicut scriptum est: Beatus homo qui semper est pavidus. Vides certe quem timorem tibi incutere nitor, non qui tibi sit laqueus desperationis, sed qui spem acquirat beatitudinis. Est siquidem timor inutilis, tristis, crudelis, qui veniam, quia non quaerit, non consequitur. Est et timor pius, humilis, fructuosus, qui cuilibet, quantumlibet peccatori, facile misericordiam promeretur. Talis timor generat, nutrit, et servat humilitatem, sed mansuetudinem, sed patientiam, sed longanimitatem. Quem non delectet tam inclyta proles? Alterius vero misera soboles est pertinacia, immoderata tristitia, rancor, horror, contemptus et desperatio. Non hoc ergo qui desperationem, sed illo qui generat spem, timens ne non timeres, vel parum timeres, tuam tibi culpam sic rememorandam esse putavi.
5. Est etiam adhuc, quod magis timeo tibi, ne forte, sicut de quibusdam scriptum est, quod laetantur cum malefecerint, et exsultant in rebus pessimis; tu quoque deceptus, non solum hoc putes culpam non esse, sed insuper (quod absit) in corde tuo glorieris, te magnum aliquid, et quod a paucis solet fieri, fecisse: dum qui emancipatus etiam aliis praeeras, contemnens praelationem rursus subdi praelato malueris. Falsa humilitas, veram inducens superbiam in cor talia cogitantis. Quid namque superbius, quam spontaneae et tanquam liberae ascribere voluntati, quod vel cogit necessitatis vis, vel pusillanimitatis infirmitas? Quod si nec labore victus, nec necessitate compulsus, sed volens hoc fecisti; nihil hoc quoque superbius. Dei quippe consilio tuum praetulisti, magis eligens tibi quiescere, quam ejus operi deservire, ad quod te ipse assumpserat. Si ergo unde Deum contempsisti, inde ad majorem ejus gloriaris contemptum, non est bona gloriatio tua. Sed cave gloriationem, tolle et securitatem: quatenus utiliter semper sollicitus sis, semper humiliter pavidus, non illo scilicet timore, qui, sicut jam dixi, provocat iram, sed illo qui mitigat.
6. Qui horribilis timor si quando terrendo tuum pulsaverit animum, tacite suggerens tuum obsequium Deo esse non posse acceptum, et quod tua sit infructuosa poenitentia, quia videlicet unde Deus a te offensus est, per te emendari non potest: ne ad momentum quidem recipias, sed fidenter responde et dic, Male quidem egi, sed factum est, et jam non potest non fieri. Quis scit si hoc mihi Deus expedire providerit, et de malo meo ipse qui bonus est, bonum mihi operari voluerit? Malum ergo puniat quod ego feci, bonum autem maneat quod ipse providit. Nostris quippe inordinatis seu voluntatibus, seu actionibus novit bonitas Dei uti, semper quidem recte in sui ordinis pulchritudinem; saepe etiam pie in nostram utilitatem. O clementissima circa filios Adam divinae pietatis recordatio! quae sua non desinit largiri beneficia, non solum ubi nullum invenit meritum, sed plerumque etiam ubi totum videt contrarium. Sed ad te redeamus. Secundum ergo duos timores qui supra distincti sunt, volo te timere, et non timere; praesumere, et non praesumere. Timere, ut poeniteas; non timere, ut praesumas: porro praesumere, ne diffidas; non praesumere, ne torpescas.
7. Agnosce, frater, quantum de te confisus sum, qui te tam acriter increpare; tuum factum, nec mihi satis probatum, tam audacter dijudicare non dubitaverim, cum id forsitan rationabilius a te actum fuerit, quam mihi hucusque notum sit. Neque enim tu in tuis litteris fortasse rationes omnes illas, quibus excusari posset hoc factum, ponere voluisti, vel propter tuam humilitatem, vel propter litterarum brevitatem. De re ergo quam plene non novi, suspensam relinquens sententiam, unum quod fecisti irretractabiliter laudo, quod videlicet deposito jugo regiminis, sine jugo tamen esse noluisti: sed amicam repetens disciplinam, de magistro fieri denuo discipulus non erubuisti. Nam cum pastorali vinculo solutus posses tui remanere juris: siquidem promotio abbatis, emancipatio filii est: tu tamen hac potestate tui non utens, sicut aliis dominari renueras, sic tibi quoque praeesse timuisti: quique ut magister esses aliorum, minus te judicabas idoneum; nec te quidem tibi credens, tuus fieri discipulus contempsisti. Et merito: quia qui se sibi magistrum constituit, stulto se discipulum subdit. Et quidem quid alii de se sentiant, ignoro: ego de me expertus sum quod dico: et facilius imperare, et securius possum praeesse aliis multis, quam soli mihi. Prudens ergo humilitas humilisque prudentia fuit, quod nequaquam credens ad salutem te posse sufficere tibi, alieno potius arbitrio deinceps vivere proposuisti.
8. Laudo etiam, quod non novum vel magistrum, vel locum requisisti, sed ad claustrum de quo exieras, et ad patrem sub quo profeceras, familiariter rediisti. Rectius quippe fuit ut domus quae te nutrierat, sed pro fraterna charitate dimiserat, exoccupatum reciperet, quam de ejus desolatione aliena gauderet. Quod tamen in hoc episcopi licentiam non habueris, nolo ut negligenter ducas: sed aut per te, aut per mediam personam, quantum in te est, satisfacere non differas. Post haec conversare simpliciter inter fratres, devotus Deo, magistro subditus, senioribus obediens, junioribus contemperans. Angelis placens, verbo utilis, humilis corde, mansuetus ad omnes. Cave autem, ne, quia olim in honore positus fuisti, etiam nunc te putes prae caeteris honorandum: sed magis humilem omnibus exhibeas, tanquam de caeteris unum. Nec enim dignum est ut inde exigas honorem, unde refugis laborem.
9. Potest hinc etiam nasci aliud periculum, ad quod te praemonitum et praemunitum esse volo. Nam sicut omnes ita mutabiles sumus, ut plerumque quod heri volebamus, hodie recusemus; et quod hodie nolumus, cras desideremus: sic quandoque diabolo suggerente poterit contingere, ut ex memoria relicti honoris tuum animum pulset cupiditas; ita ut omnia quae viriliter contempsisti, pueriliter desiderare incipias. Dulcescent animo quae prius amara fuerunt, sublimitas loci, domus cura, rerum dispensatio, obsequia famulorum, libertas tui, potestas in alios; in tantum ut prope reliquisse te poeniteat, quod prius tenere gravabat: cui pessimae tentationi si vel ad horam (quod absit) assensum praebueris, non mediocre damnum incurres tuae conversationis.
10. En tota illius elegantissimi et eloquentissimi doctoris sapientia, a quo doceri de tam longinquo postulasti: en illud exspectatum ac desideratum eulogium, quod audire tantopere studuisti: haec summa nostrae eruditionis. An adhuc aliquid magnum exspectas? totum audisti. Quid amplius requiris? exhaustus est fons, et tu quaeris aquam in sicco? Exemplo illius evangelicae viduae, de paupertate mea totum quod habui, misi. Quid verecundaris? quid vultum dimittis? Tu me coegisti. Sermonem quaesisti; sermonem habes. Sermonem, inquam, habes jam satis longum, sed mutum; verbis plenum, sensibus vacuum: non quo, ut petieras, in corde tua charitas ordinetur, sed quo mea inscitia publicetur. Nam unde jam poterit excusari? Possem forsitan dicere, quod febre tertiana laborans, quod pro officio meo curis occupatus haec dictaverim, cum scriptum sit: Sapientiam scribe in otio. Sed haec recte praetenderem, si grande aliquod atque operosum opus aggressus fuissem. Nunc autem in tantillo opusculo, ut occasionibus me non excusem, nihil horum certius praetendere possum, quam, ut saepe jam dixi, scientiae paupertatem.
11. Sed habeo nonnullam meae confusionis consolationem. Nam etsi non feci ut petieras, si non misi quod speraveras; agnoscis certe quia volui. Sufficiet autem voluntas, ubi deesse vides facultatem explendi. Denique etsi tibi nullam conferat utilitatem, vel mihi proficiet ad humilitatem. Stultus quippe dum non loquitur, sapiens putatur: nam quod non loquitur, non sensus inopia, sed humilitatis esse custodia creditur. Ego itaque si adhuc siluissem, sapiens dicerer, sed non essem. Nunc autem alii insipientem me ridebunt, alii subsannabunt idiotam, alii praesumptori indignabuntur. Putasne parum hoc mihi conferat religionis emolumentum, cum humilitas, ad quam utique ducit humiliatio, totius sit spiritualis fabricae fundamentum? Siquidem humiliatio via est ad humilitatem, sicut patientia ad pacem, sicut lectio ad scientiam. Si virtutem appetis humilitatis, viam non refugias humiliationis. Nam si non pateris humiliari, non poteris ad humilitatem provehi. Prodest itaque mihi meam insipientiam sciri, et a scientibus [ al., sapientibus] jure confundi, cui saepe contigit a nescientibus injuste laudari. Terret me Apostolus, qui et ipse territus dicit: Parco autem, ne quis me existimet supra id quod videt in me, aut audit aliquid ex me. Quam pulchre dixit, parco. Non parcit sibi arrogans, non parcit sibi superbus, non cupidus vanae gloriae, et jactator actuum suorum, qui vel sibi arrogat quod est, vel mentitur de se quod non est. Solus qui vere humilis est, parcit animae suae: qui ne putetur, quod non est, semper quantum in se est, vult nesciri quod est.
12. Grande revera periculum, audire quemquam de se supra quam sentit in se. Quis dabit mihi apud homines tantum de veris digne humiliari, quantum vel de falsis datum est indigne exaltari? Illam mihi vocem propheticam jure assumerem: Exaltatus autem, humiliatus sum et conturbatus; et illud: Ludam, et vilior fiam. Ludam scilicet ut illudar. Bonus ludus, quo Michol irascitur, et Deus delectatur. Bonus ludus, qui hominibus quidem ridiculum, sed Angelis pulcherrimum spectaculum praebet. Bonus, inquam, ludus, quo efficimur opprobrium abundantibus, et despectio superbis. Nam revera quid aliud saecularibus quam ludere videmur, cum, quod ipsi appetunt in hoc saeculo, nos per contrarium fugimus; et quod ipsi fugiunt, nos appetimus? More scilicet joculatorum et saltatorum, qui capite misso deorsum, pedibusque sursum erectis, praeter humanum usum stant manibus vel incedunt, et sic in se omnium oculos defigunt. Non est hic ludus puerilis, non est de theatro, qui femineis foedisque anfractibus provocet libidinem, actus sordidos repraesentet: sed est ludus jucundus, honestus, gravis, spectabilis, qui coelestium spectatorum delectare possit aspectus. Hoc casto et religioso ludo ludebat qui dicebat: Spectaculum facti sumus Angelis et hominibus. Hoc ludo et nos interim ludamus, ut illudamur, confundamur, humiliemur, donec veniat qui potentes deponit, et exaltat humiles; qui nos laetificet, glorificet, in aeternum exaltet.