Letters1 Letter I. To his cousin Robert, who had withdrawn from the Cistercian order to the Cluniac. (Circa 1119)
Letter I. To his cousin Robert, who had withdrawn from the Cistercian order to the Cluniac. (Circa 1119)
He recalls, 'with wonderful gentleness, and affection more than fatherly, Robert, his relative; who, induced either by shrinking from a very severe Rule, the attraction of a freer life, or the blandishments and cunning suggestions of others, had withdrawn from the Cistercian Order to the Cluniac.
1. I have waited long enough, my dear son Robert, perhaps too long, [hoping that the grace of God might deign to visit both your soul and mine, inspiring you with salutary contrition and me with joy for your repentance. But since my hope is so far not fulfilled, I am no longer able to hide my grief or express my anxiety. Thus, though wounded, I am obliged to call upon my assailant; despised, to ask for the pity of him who contemns me; though injured, to make satisfaction to my injurer; and in fine, against all rule, to beseech him who ought to beseech me. Extreme grief does not deliberate or observe limits, is not ashamed, does not fear loss of dignity; it disregards measure, and rule, and order. The powers of the mind are wholly occupied in relieving itself, by any means, of what causes it pain, or in obtaining what it suffers to be without. But you say: I have not injured nor despised anyone, but rather, being scorned and injured in many ways, I have fled from my enemy. Whom have I injured in fleeing from injuries? Is it not better to withdraw from the persecutor than to resist him?-—to fly the striker than to strike back? Truly, I allow it. Not to contend have I begun to write, but to bring contention to an end. The pursuer—not the fugitive—is to be blamed for a flight from persecution. I pass over what has been done. I do not ask why or how. I do not discuss whose is the fault, and I wish to bury all remembrance of wrongs. Such [discussions are wont to arouse, not to soften, differences. I speak only of what is more to my heart—unhappy that I am—to be deprived of you, and not to see you, death for whom would be to me life, and without whom life is death! I do not ask why you went away. I complain only because you have not returned. I speak not of the causes of your departure, but of the delay of your return. Return only, and there shall be peace. Return, and it shall suffice, and I will sing with joy, He was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found! (S. Luke xv. 32).
2. Surely it was my fault that you departed. I was rigid to a delicate youth; I was severe, and treated harshly a sensitive mind. When you were here you were wont, as far as I remember, to murmur against me, and since, as I have heard, you do not cease to blame me, though absent. It shall not be laid to your charge. I might, perhaps, allege that it was my duty to restrain the passions of petulant youth, and that those harsh beginnings of strict discipline are needful in early years, as the Scripture bears witness: Chasten thy son with a rod, and thou shalt deliver his soul from death (Prov. xxiii. 13); and, again, Whom the Lord loveth lie chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom lie receiveth (Heb. xii. 6), and that More wholesome are the wounds of a friend than the kisses of an enemy (Prov. xxvii. 6). But let it be, as I said, that it was by my fault you went away; only let there be no contention about the offence to hinder the amends for it. I have, perhaps, sometimes and in some matters acted unwisely towards you, but never have I been ill-disposed. Therefore, spare the penitent, or at least have consideration for one who speaks frankly to you. If you fear for the future you shall find me not what I was, because I think that you are not what you were. A changed person yourself, you shall find me changed, and him whom you before feared as a master you may safely embrace as a companion. Therefore, whether you withdrew by my fault, as you think and I do not dispute, or by your own, as many think, although I do not maintain it, or by our common fault, as I incline to think, if for this reason you demur to return, you alone shall be without excuse. Would you be free from all blame? Return. If you acknowledge your fault, I forgive it. Do you also forgive me where I acknowledge mine, otherwise either you are too indulgent to yourself, when you are conscious of your fault and yet will not acknowledge it, or you are too unmerciful to me, whom you will not forgive even when I make amends.
3. Now, if you are unwilling to return, seek some other excuse wherewith to flatter your conscience, for henceforth there will be no reason lor you to dread the severity of my rule. You need not fear that I shall be too severe to you when you are here, seeing that I abase myself with my whole heart to you when absent, and am bound to you by entire.affection. I practise humility, I promise love, and do you still fear? You have fled from a stern [ruler; return to a gentle one. Let my lenity recall you, since my severity drove you away. See, my son, how I wish to recall you—not in fear again and in the spirit of servitude, but in the spirit of filial adoption, in which you may call and not be disappointed, Abba, Father.' (Rom. viii. 15). Though you have caused me so great grief I use not threats and terrors, but caresses and entreaties. Others would, perhaps, employ different means; would lay before you your offence, would remind you of your vow, and awake in you the fear of judgment- They would reproach you with disobedience, with apostacy in abandoning a coarse garment for a fine habit, a diet of vegetables for dainties, and, in fine, poverty for riches. But I know that you are more easily induced by love than compelled by fear, and I have not thought it needful to goad the unresisting, to terrify the frightened, to confound still more him who blushes. But would it not seem an unheard-of thing that a youth, modest, simple, and retiring, should have dared to violate his vow, to leave the place of his profession against the will of his brethren, the authority of his master, the obligation of his rule? Yet it is not more strange than that the piety of David should have been beguiled (2 Sam. xi.), the wisdom of Solomon mocked (1 Kings xi.), the strength of Samson rendered vain (Judges xvi.). What wonder that he who deceived our first parents and expelled them from Paradise should have seduced an inexperienced young man in the midst of a desert solitude! Add to this that he has not been led away by beauty, as the elders of Babylon (Hist, of Susan., 8), nor by the love of money, as Gehazi (2 Kings v. 20), nor by ambitious desires, as Julian the Apostate, but holiness deceived him, religion seduced him, the authority of his elders led him astray. Do you ask how?
4. A certain great Prior was sent forth by his superiors: and he, a wolf disguised in sheep's clothing, was admitted into the sheepfold. He attracts, he allures, he flatters; the preacher of a new Gospel, he commends drunkenness, condemns frugality; voluntary poverty he calls misery; fasts, vigils, silence, the labour of the hands, he styles folly; but, on the contrary, sloth he names contemplation; gluttony, loquacity, inquisitiveness, in short, every kind of excess, he calls discretion. What, he says, does God delight in our sufferings? Where does Scripture bid anyone to slay himself? W'hat sort of religion is it to dig the earth, to cut wood, to carry manure? Is it not the declaration of the Truth, will have mercy and not sacrifice (S. Matt. ix. 13, Ezek. xxxiii. n, S. Matt. v. 7). Why has God created food if it is not permitted to eat it? or given us bodies if we must not sustain them?
And then, He that is evil to himself, to whom will he be good (Ecclus. xiv. 5). What wise man ever hated his own flesh? (Eph. v. 29).
5. Thus with such pleadings a too credulous youth is seduced; he follows his deluder, he is led to Cluny; he is shorn, shaven, washed; in place of his worn, cheap, rustic clothes he is clad in new, fashionable, and costly ones, and thus he is taken into the convent. And with what honour, triumph, and observance! He, a youth, is set above his equals, above his seniors; the entire brotherhood favours, compliments, congratulates him; they all rejoice as victors when they divide the spoil. O, good Jesus! how many things are done for the destruction of one poor soul! Whose heart, however firm, would not grow soft? whose inner eye, however spiritual it might be, would not be confused? Among such distractions who could consult his conscience, who could either recognize truth, or maintain humility?
6. Application is made on his account to Rome. Apostolic authority is approached; and that the Pope may not refuse his consent, it is suggested to him that [the youth when an infant was offered to that monastery by his parents. There was no one to contradict this; judgment was given upon a mere statement, and against the absent. Those who did the injury are justified, those who suffered it put off altogether, and the offender absolved without making satisfaction. Too mild a sentence of absolution is confirmed by a cruel privilege, which, when reported, encouraged and rendered secure the ill-assured victim of bad advice. And among these things a soul may perish for which Christ died, because the Cluniacs choose! Profession is made upon profession, vows which will not be loosed and cannot be kept, and since the first agreement is made invalid, a pretext is found for a second, and sin heaped upon sin.
7. May He speedily come who will right wrongs judicially done and put to shame unlawful oaths, who will right those that suffer wrong, will judge the poor in justice, and contend with equity for the meek of the earth! To Thy tribunal, O, Lord Jesus, I appeal; to Thee I commit my cause, O, Lord God of Sabaoth, who judgest justly, and triest the reins and the hearts (Jer. xi. 20), whose eyes, as they cannot deceive, so they cannot be deceived. Thouseest who seeks the things which are Thine, and who seeks his own (1 Cor. xiii. 5). Thou knowest with what gentleness I have succoured him in all his temptations, with what groanings I have wearied for him the ears of Thy Holiness, how troubled I used to be by his faults and escapades. And now I fear that it was in vain. For I think, as far as I have tried, that it is for the profit neither of the mind or body of a young man, by himself sufficiently eager and inexperienced, to apply to the one such stimulants, to the other such incentives to vanity. Therefore, Lord Jesus, be Thou my judge; let my sentence come forth from Thy presence, let Thine eyes look upon the thing that is equal (Ps. xvii. 2).
8. Let them see and judge which ought rather to stand good, the vow of a father respecting his son or that of the son respecting himself, especially when he has made the vow even more perfect. Let them see how Thy servant, our law-giver Benedict, would have decided; whether what was done respecting a young infant, without his knowledge, or what he himself afterwards did advisedly of his own accord, when he was of an age to speak for himself, should hold good. It is clear that he was promised only, not given. The petition which the Rule prescribes was not made on his behalf by the parents, nor his hand with the petition folded in the covering of the altar, so that he might be offered before witnesses. A [piece of ground is shown which is said to have been given with him and for him. But if they received him with the ground, why did they not keep him as well as the ground? Did they, perhaps, require more than its fruit, or value the land more than this soul? Otherwise, if offered to the monastery, what was he seeking in the world? If he were to be brought up for God, why was he abandoned to the devil? Why was Christ's sheep found a prey to the wolf? From the world you came, Robert, yourself being witness, not from Cluny, when you came to Citeaux. You requested admission, you 10. And these things I say to you, my son, not to distress you, but to warn you, for though you have many teachers in Christ, you have not many fathers (1 Cor. iv. 14). For (if you should deem it of any value) both by word and by my example have I begotten you to religion. Does it please you that another person should glory in you, who has laboured not at all for you and in you? Like as to the harlot before Solomon, so it has happened to me: namely, to her whose little son had been secretly taken away by another, who had overlaid and destroyed her own (1 Kings iii. 20).
11. Now for what advantage to you, or for what need of yours, have our friends endeavoured to do this? For as for me, if I had ever offended them in anything (which I am not conscious of having done), I would at once have made full amends. But it is strange if I have not sustained the worse reprisal; if (that is to say) I have been able to do them some such injury, as I have now endured from them. For I protest that they have taken, not the bone of my bones nor flesh of my flesh, but the very joy of my heart, the fruit of my spirit, the crown of my hope, and (as I verily feel) the half of my soul. And why? Perhaps they pitied you, and not bearing to see the blind leading the blind, they took you to their own leading, that you might not perish under mine. But could not you be saved, unless I were despoiled? And would that you maybe saved even without me! But is your salvation likely to be more advanced by nicety of dress, and abundance of dainties, than by frugality of dress and living? If soft and warm garments, fine and costly cloths, full sleeves, an ample hood, a thick and soft coverlet, and fine linen make a saint, why should not I also follow the example? But these are the comforts of the sick, not the weapons of combatants. For those who wear soft clothing are in kings' houses (S. Matt. xi. 8). Wine and fine flour, mead and fat things, fight for the body, not the soul. With broiled meats the flesh, not the soul, is made fat. Many brethren in Egypt long served God without using even fish. Pepper, ginger, cumin, sage, and a thousand kinds of things pickled, delight indeed the palate, but inflame the passions. And do you place security in these things? or suppose that you can spend your youth safely thus? Salt, with hunger, is sufficient condiment to one who lives soberly and prudently; but if hunger is not waited for, it becomes needful to excite it with I know not what potions.
12. But what shall he do, you say, who cannot live otherwise? I know that you are delicate and would not be able to endure a harder life, but that is only because you are accustomed to these things. But what if you could make yourself able? Do you ask how? Rise, gird yourself, shake off sloth, use your powers, move your arms, open those folded hands, do something useful, and you will soon find that you have appetite for what takes away hunger without pampering the palate. Many things which, when idle, you turn from, after labour you will take with relish. Cabbage, beans, pottage, coarse bread, with water, are little appetizing, I allow, to an idle person, but they seem great delicacies to one who has laboured. Having become unaccustomed to tunics, you are perhaps afraid to take to wear them again, as being too cold in winter and too hot in summer; but have you ever read, He who fears the hoar frost the snow shall fall upon him? (Job vi. 16). Idleness produces distaste, exercise, hunger. You fear watchings, fastings, and the labour of the hands; but these things are trifles to him who meditates on the everlasting burnings. Then the remembrance of the outer darkness causes you not to shudder at solitude. If you remember that every idle word shall be called in question (S. Matt. xii. 36), silence will not greatly displease you. That eternal weeping and gnashing of teeth, if brought before the eyes of the heart, will render hard mat or soft couch the same thing to you. Finally, if you have faithfully kept watch the whole time of the night which the Rule prescribes, with Psalms (Rule of S. Bened., cap. ix. seqq.), hard indeed will be the couch on which you will not sleep soundly.
13. Rise, soldier of Christ, shake off the dust, return to the battle whence you have fled, fight more bravely after your flight, and you shall conquer the more gloriously. Christ has indeed many soldiers who have set out bravely, stood fast and overcome, but few, who having turned back from flight and dared anew the peril which they had evaded, have put to flight the enemies from whom they had fled. And because every rare thing is precious, I rejoice that you should be of those who shall appear the more glorious the rarer they are. But do not think that because you have fled from the fight, you have escaped from the hands of the enemy. The adversary overtakes you with more pleasure when flying than he resists you when combating, and strikes more boldly at your back than he attacks face to face. Are you securely taking your morning slumbers, when at that time Christ rose from the dead; and thus unarmed, at once more timid yourself and less formidable to enemies? A multitude of armed ones have surrounded your house, and you are sleeping? Already they ascend the mound, they pull down the palisade, they rush in at the postern door. Is it safer for you that they should find you alone than with others—naked in your bed than armed and in the field? Rise up, seize your arms, and fly to your fellow soldiers whom you have deserted. Let fear itself join you again to those from whom it parted you. Why do you, O, effeminate warrior, shrink from the weight and hardness of your weapons? The adversary pressing on you and the darts flying around will make the shield, the cuirass, and the helmet seem to be no burden. Even the bravest soldiers have fears when the trumpet sounds before the combat, but when they are in the thick of the fight, the hope of victory and the fear of being overcome renders them intrepid. But what can you fear when the unanimity of your brethren and fellow combatants fortifies you on all sides, when the Angels stand beside you, when Christ, the leader of the war, will go before you, cheering His own on to victory, and saying, Be of good cheer; I have overcome the world! (S. John xvi. 33). If Christ be for us, who can be against us? (Rom. viii. '). You can fight safely when you are sure of victory. Safe, indeed, is warfare with and for Christ, for, though wounded, prostrate, trampled on, killed, if possible, a thousand times, yet, if only you do not fly, you shall not lose the victory.
Flight, flight alone can take it from you. Woe to you if, in declining the fight, you lose at once the victory and the crown; which may God avert from you, my dearest son, since your condemnation will be the greater, if I have rightly charged you in this my letter.
1. Satis et plusquam satis sustinui, dilectissime fili Roberte, si forte Dei pietas, et tuam per se, et meam per te animam dignaretur invisere: tibi scilicet inspirando salutarem compunctionem, mihique de tua salute laetitiam. Sed quoniam usque adhuc frustratum me cerno ab exspectatione mea, jam non valeo tegere dolorem meum, anxietatem reprimere, dissimulare tristitiam. Unde et contra juris ordinem cogor revocare, laesus, eum qui me laesit; spretus, requirere contemptorem; injuriam passus, injuriatori satisfacere; rogare denique, a quo rogari debueram. Dolor quippe nimius non deliberat, non verecundatur, non consulit rationem, non metuit dignitatis damnum; legi non obtemperat, judicio non acquiescit, modum ignorat et ordinem: id omnimodo et solummodo satagente animo, quo vel careat, quod se dolet habere; vel habeat, quo se dolet carere. At, inquis, nec laesi quempiam, nec sprevi; sed spretus potius ego, ac multifarie laesus, tantum fugi malefactorem meum. Cui injuriam feci, si injurias fugi? An non expedit cedere persecutori, quam resistere? fugere ferientem, quam referire? Recte: assentio. Non ut contenderem coepi haec, sed ut contentionem dirimerem. Fugere persecutionem non est culpa fugientis, sed persequentis. Non contradico. Omitto quod factum est, non requiro cur, vel quomodo factum est: culpas non discutio, non retracto causas, non recordor injurias. Solent enim haec magis instigare, quam mitigare discordias. Solum quod mihi magis est cordi, loquor. Me miserum, quod te careo, quod te non video, quod sine te vivo, pro quo mori, mihi vivere est; sine quo vivere, mori! Non igitur quaero cur abieris, sed quod jam non redieris queror; non causas discessionis, sed moras causor regressionis. Veni tantum, et pax erit: revertere, et satisfactum est. Redi, inquam, redi, et laetus cantabo: Mortuus fuerat, et revixit; perierat, et inventus est.
2. Fuerit certe meae culpae quod discessisti. Delicato quippe adolescentulo austerus exstiteram, et tenerum durus nimis inhumane tractavi. Hinc enim et praesens quondam adversum me, quantum memini, murmurare solebas; hinc et nunc, sicut audivi, etiam absenti derogare non cessas. Non tibi imputetur. Possem forsitan excusare et dicere, quia sic lascivi pueritiae motus coercendi erant; ac rudibus annis debebantur aspera illa disciplinae districtioris initia. Scriptura attestante, quae ait, Percute filium tuum virga, et liberabis animam ejus a morte; et rursum: Quos enim diligit Dominus, corripit; flagellat autem omnem filium quem recipit; et illud: Utiliora sunt verbera amici, quam oscula inimici. Sed fuerit, ut dixi, meae culpae quod discessisti: ne dum de reatus perpetratione contenditur, emendatio retardetur. At vero hinc vel procul dubio incipiet esse et tuae, si non parcas poenitenti, induigeas confitenti: quia potui quidem aliquando in aliquibus fuisse erga te indiscretus, sed certe non malevolus. Quod si et in futuro hanc ipsam indiscretionem meam suspectam habes; noveris me jam non esse qui fueram, quia nec te puto fore qui fuisti. Mutatus mutatum invenies, et quem ante metuebas magistrum, comitem amplectere securus. Itaque sive mea culpa recesseris, ut tu putas, et ego non excuso; sive tua, ut multi putant, etsi ego non accuso; sive mea simul et tua, quod ego magis puto: ex hoc jam si redire renueris, solus profecto inexcusabilis eris. Vis ab omni culpa liber esse? revertere. Si tuam agnoscis, ignosco: ignosce et tu mihi, ubi meam agnosco. Alioquin aut tibi nimis indulges, qui tuam culpam et agnoscis, et dissimulas; aut mihi nimis immisericors es, cui nec satisfacienti ignoscendum putas.
3. Jam si redire recusas, aliam quaere occasionem unde falso blandiaris conscientiae tuae: quia non erit ultra quod formidare debeas de rigore districtionis meae. Neque enim formidandum est quod futurus sim praesenti formidolosus, cui adhuc absenti jam toto sum corde prostratus, totis adstrictus visceribus. Humilitatem exhibeo, charitatem promitto: et tu times? Intrepidus veni quo te vocat humilitas, pertrahit charitas. Securus accede, talibus praeventus obsidibus. Fugisti saevum, revertere ad mansuetum: revocet te mea lenitas, cujus severitas effugavit. Vide, fili, quam te cupiam duci, non spiritu servitutis iterum in timore, sed spiritu adoptionis filiorum, in quo clamare et tu non confundaris, Abba, Pater: causam utique tanti doloris mei non minis apud te, sed blandimentis; precibus, non terroribus agens. Alius forsitan aliter tentaret. Et vere quis alius non magis discuteret reatum, et incuteret metum; non oppoponeret votum, et proponeret judicium; non argueret inobedientiae, non indignaretur apostasiae; quod de tunicis ad pelliceas, de oleribus ad delicias, quod denique ad divitias de paupertate transieris? Sed ego novi animum tuum, qui facilius possit amore flecti, quam timore compelli. Denique quid necesse est his pungere non recalcitrantem, valde timidum magis exterrere, per se satis erubescentem confundere amplius: cui sua ratio magister, cui propria conscientia virga, et ingenita verecundia lex disciplinae est? Quod si cui mirum videtur, quomodo puer verecundus, simplex timoratus, ausus fuerit contra voluntatem fratrum, magistri imperium, regulare decretum, suum deserere et votum, et locum: miretur etiam quod et David sanctitati subreptum sit, quod sapientiae Salomonis illusum, quod Samson fortitudini obviatum. Qui protoplastum dolo captum expulit de patria felicitatis, quid mirum si tenero subripuit adolescentulo in loco horroris et vastae solitudinis? Huc accedit quod nec, sicut illos Babylonicos senes, species decepit eum; nec, sicut Giezi, pecuniae amor; nec honoris ambitio, sicut Julianum Apostatam; sed fefellit illum sanctitas, seduxit religio, perdidit auctoritas seniorum. Quaeris quomodo?
4. Primo quidem missus est magnus quidam prior ab ipso principe priorum; foris quidem apparens in vestimentis ovium, intrinsecus autem lupus rapax; deceptisque custodibus, aestimantibus quippe ovem esse, vae! vae! admissus est solus ad solam lupus oviculam. Nec refugit ovicula lupum, quem et ipsa putabat ovem. Quid plura? attrahit, allicit, blanditur, et novi evangelii praedicator commendat crapulam, parcimoniam damnat; voluntariam paupertatem, miseriam dicit; jejunia, vigilias, silentium, manuumque laborem, vocat insaniam: e contrario otiositatem, contemplationem nuncupat; edacitatem, loquacitatem, curiositatem, cunctam denique intemperantiam nominat discretionem. Quando, inquit, delectatur Deus cruciatibus nostris? ubi praecipit Scriptura quempiam sese interficere? Qualis vero religio est fodere terram, silvam excidere, stercora comportare? Nunquid non sententia Veritatis est, Misericordiam volo, et non sacrificium? et, Nolo mortem peccatoris, sed magis ut convertatur et vivat? et, Beati misericordes, quoniam ipsi misericordiam consequentur? Utquid vero Deus cibos creavit, si non liceat manducare? utquid nobis corpora dedit, si prohibeat sustentare? Denique, qui sibi nequam, cui bonus? Quis unquam sanum sapiens, carnem suam odio habuit?
5. Talibus tandem allegationibus male credulus puer circumventus seducitur, seductorem sequitur, Cluniacum ducitur; tondetur, raditur, lavatur; exuitur rusticanis, vetustis, sordidis; induitur pretiosis, novis ac nitidis; et ita in conventum suscipitur. Sed cum quali putas honore, cum quo triumpho, cum quanta reverentia? Defertur ei super omnes coaetaneos suos, et tanquam victor rediens a pugna, sic laudatur peccator in desideriis animae suae. Sustollitur in altum, statu non mediocri collocatur, ita ut multis senioribus praelatus sit adolescens: favet, blanditur, congratulatur ei universa fraternitas; exsultant omnes, tanquam victores capta praeda, quando dividunt spolia. O Jesu bone! quam multa facta sunt pro unius animulae perditione! Cujus ad haec quantumlibet robustum pectus non emollesceret? cujus interior, quantumvis spiritualis, oculus non turbaretur? cui inter talia ad suam liceat recurrere conscientiam? quis denique in tanta pompa vel veritatem valeat agnoscere, vel obtinere humilitatem?
6. Mittitur interea pro eo Romam. Apostolica compellatur auctoritas; et ut Papa non neget assensum, suggeritur ei infantem olim a parentibus oblatum fuisse monasterio. Non fuit qui refelleret (nec enim contradictor est exspectatus), judicatum est de parte, abjudicatum absentibus. Justificati sunt qui injuriam fecerunt, exciderunt a causa qui passi sunt, absque satisfactione absolvitur reus. Firmatur privilegio crudeli nimium clemens sententia absolutionis; quo reportato confirmaretur fluctuanti male suasa stabilitas, securitas dubitanti. Et hic tenor litterarum, haec judicii summa, haec totius causae definitio, ut teneant qui tulerunt, sileant qui amiserunt: inter haec autem pereat anima pro qua Christus mortuus est, et hoc, quia Cluniacenses volunt. Fit professio super professionem, vovetur quod non solvetur; proponitur quod non tenebitur; et cum primum pactum irritum factum sit, in secundo geminatur praevaricatio, et fit supra modum peccans peccatum.
7. Veniet, veniet qui male judicata rejudicabit, illicite jurata confutabit; qui faciet judicium injuriam patientibus, qui judicabit in justitia pauperes, et arguet in aequitate pro mansuetis terrae. Veniet pro certo, qui per prophetam minatur in Psalmo dicens: Cum accepero tempus, ego justitias judicabo. Quid faciet de injustis judiciis, qui ipsas quoque justitias judicabit? Veniet, inquam, veniet dies judicii: ubi plus valebunt pura corda, quam astuta verba; et conscientia bona, quam marsupia plena: quandoquidem Judex ille nec falletur verbis, nec flectetur donis. Tuum, Domine Jesu, tribunal appello: tuo me judicio servo, tibi committo causam meam, Domine Deus sabaoth, qui judicas juste, et probas renes et corda; cujus oculi sicut fallere nolunt, ita falli non possunt; tu vides qui tua, vides qui quaerunt et sua. Tu nosti quibus ei visceribus in cunctis tentationibus suis semper adfuerim, quantis pro eo gemitibus aures tuae pietatis pulsaverim, qualiter ad quaeque illius scandala, perturbationes, molestias ego urebar, torquebar, affligebar. Et nunc timeo ne frustra. Puto enim, quantum expertus sum, adolescentis per se satis ferventis et insolescentis nec corpori talia expedire fomenta, nec menti illa gloriae tentamenta. Itaque, arbiter meus Domine Jesu, de vultu tuo judicium meum prodeat, oculi tui videant aequitatem.
8. Videant et judicent, quid potius stare debuerit, an votum patris de filio, an filii de se ipso, praesertim cum filius aliquid majus devoverit. Videat et famulus tuus legislator noster Benedictus, quid regularius fuerit, utrum quod factum est de infantulo, nesciente ipso; an quod ipse per se postmodum prudens et sciens fecit, cum jam aetatem haberet ut de se loqueretur. Quanquam dubium non sit; promissum illum fuisse, non donatum. Nec enim petitio quam Regula praecipit, pro eo facta fuit a parentibus; nec manus illius cum ipsa petitione involuta palla altaris, ut sic offerretur coram testibus. Ostenditur deinde terra, quae cum illo, et pro illo dicitur data fuisse, Sed si cum terra eum receperunt, cur non et cum terra eum retinuerunt? An forte requirebant magis datum quam fructum, et pluris aestimata est terra quam anima? Alioquin oblatus monasterio, quid quaerebat in saeculo? nutriendus Deo, cur expositus erat diabolo? Ovis Christi cur inventa est patere morsibus lupi? De saeculo quippe, non de Cluniaco, te teste, Roberte, venisti Cistercium. Quaesisti, petisti, pulsasti; sed pro tui adhuc teneritudine, te licet invito, dilatus es per biennium. Quo tempore patienter expleto, et absque calumnia, tuis demum precibus, multisque (si meministi) lacrymis, diu exspectatam impetrasti misericordiam; et quem satis desideraveras ingressum, obtinuisti. Post haec per annum juxta Regulam, in omni patientia probatus, perseveranter et sine querela conversatus, post annum sponte professus; tunc primum saeculari veste rejecta, religionis habitum suscepisti.
9. O insensate puer! quis te fascinavit non solvere vota tua, quae distinxerunt labia tua? Annon vel ex ore tuo justificaberis, vel ex ore tuo condemnaberis? Quid de parentis voto sollicitus es, negligens tui; cum ex ore tuo, non illius, habeas judicari; tuorum, non illius, vota labiorum exigendus sis? Et quid tibi frustra quispiam blanditur de absolutione apostolica, cujus conscientiam divina ligatam tenet sententia? Nemo, inquit, mittens manum suam ad aratrum, et respiciens retro, aptus est regno Dei. Nunquid et hoc persuadebunt non esse retro respicere, qui dicunt tibi: Euge, euge? Filiole, si te lactaverint peccatores, ne acquiescas eis. Noli credere omni spiritui. Sint tibi multi necessarii, unus autem sit sibi consiliarius de mille. Tolle occasiones, respue blandimenta, adulationibus claude aures, te interroga de te, quia tu te melius nosti quam alius. Attende cor tuum, discute intentionem, consule veritatem: tua tibi conscientia respondeat, cur abieris, cur Ordinem tuum, cur fratres, cur locum, cur me, qui et tibi propinquus carne, et propinquior spiritu sum, deserueris. Si ut arctius, ut rectius, ut perfectius viveres; securus esto, quia non retro aspexisti: sed et gloriare cum Apostolo dicens: Quae retro oblitus, et ad ea quae ante sunt extentus, sequor ad palmam gloriae. Sin alias, noli altum sapere, sed time: quoniam, ut cum venia tui dixerim, quidquid tibi amplius indulges in victu, vestituque superfluo, in verbis otiosis, in vagatione licentiosa et curiosa, quam videlicet promisisti, quam apud nos tenuisti; hoc procul dubio retro aspicere est, praevaricari est, apostatare est.
10. Et haec dico, fili, non ut te confundam, sed ut tanquam filium charissimum moneam: quia etsi multos habeas in Christo paedagogos, sed non multos patres. Nam si dignaris, et verbo, et exemplo meo in religionem ego te genui. Nutrivi deinde lacte, quod solum adhuc parvulus capere poteras; daturus et panem, si exspectares ut grandesceres. Sed heu! quam praepropere et intempestive ablactatus es! Et vereor ne totum quod foveram blandimentis, roboraveram adhortationibus, orationibus solidaveram; jamjamque evanescat, deficiat, pereat; et lugeam miser, non tam cassi laboris damnum, quam damnatae sobolis miserabilem casum. Placetne tibi quod alius nunc glorietur de te, qui nihil utique laboravit in te? Simile mihi contigit, quod et illi meretrici apud Salomonem: cui videlicet parvulus suus ab altera, quae suum a se oppressum exstinxerat, furtim sublatus est. Tu quoque de sinu mihi, et utero abscissus es. Ablatum gemo, repeto violenter avulsum. Non possum oblivisci viscera mea; quorum nimirum parte detracta non modica, non potest nisi torqueri pars reliqua.
11. Verumtamen quo tuo commodo, qua tui necessitate hoc nobis moliti sunt amici nostri? quorum manus sanguine plenae sunt, quorum animam meam pertransivit gladius, quorum dentes arma et sagittae, et lingua eorum gladius acutus. Nam utique mihi, si in aliquo unquam eos offenderam (quod utique mihi conscius non sum), plenam prorsus rependere vicem. Mirum vero si non plus talione recepi; si videlicet tale aliquid in eos deliquisse potui, quale nunc ab eis pertuli. Nam, ut verum fatear, non os de ossibus meis, vel carnem de carne mea; sed tulerunt mihi gaudium cordis mei, fructum spiritus mei, coronam spei meae, et (velut mihi sentire videor) animae meae dimidium. Utquid hoc? forte miserti sunt tui: et caeco caecum ducenti indignantes, ne perires post me, in suum te transtulere ducatum. O molesta charitas! o dura necessitudo! Tantum tuam dilexere salutem, ut in meam impingerent. Nisi me perempto, tu salvari non poteras? Et utinam ipsi te absque me salvent. Utinam et si ego moriar, vel tu vivas. Sed quid? Salus ergo magis in cultu vestium, et ciborum est opulentia, quam in sobrio victu vestituque moderato? Si pelliciae lenes et calidae, si panni subtiles et pretiosi, si longae manicae et amplum caputium, si opertorium silvestre et molle stamineum, sanctum faciunt; quid moror et ego quod te non sequor? Sed haec infirmantium sunt fomenta, non arma pugnantium. Ecce enim qui mollibus vestiuntur, in domibus regum sunt. Vinum et simila, mulsum et pinguia corpori militant, non spiritui. Frixuris non anima saginatur, sed caro. Multi in Aegypto fratres, multo tempore Deo sine piscibus servierunt. Piper, gingiber, cuminum, salvia, et mille hujusmodi species salsamentorum, palatum quidem delectant, sed libidinem accendunt. Et tu mihi in his securitatem pones? tu cum hujusmodi tutam duces adolescentiam? Prudenter sobrieque conversanti satis est ad omne condimentum sal cum fame; qua sola non exspectata, necesse est alias atque alias de nescio quibus succis extraneis confici permistiones, quae videlicet palatum reparent, gulam provocent, excitent appetitum.
12. Sed quid faciet, inquis, qui aliud non potest? Bene. Scio quia delicatus es, et quod his assuetus modo, duriora non possis. Sed quid, si potes facere ut possis? Quaeris quomodo? Surge, praecingere, tolle otium, exere vires, move brachia, complosas explica manus, exercitare in aliquo; et statim senties sola te appetere quae famem tollant, non fauces demulceant. Reddet quippe sapores rebus exercitium, quos tulit inertia. Multa quae respuis otiosus, post laborem sumes cum desiderio. Siquidem otium parit fastidium, exercitium famem; fames autem miro modo dulcia reddit, quae fastidium facit insipida. Olus, faba, pultes, panisque cibarius cum aqua, quiescenti quidem fastidio sunt, sed exercitato magnae videntur deliciae. Jam forte tunicis dissuetus exhorres nimium eas, tam propter hiemis frigus, quam propter aetatis ardorem: sed nunquid legisti, Qui timet pruinam, veniet super eum nix? Vigilias times et jejunia, manuumque laborem: sed haec levia sunt meditanti flammas perpetuas. Recordatio deinde tenebrarum exteriorum facit non horrere solitudinem. Si futuram cogitas de verbis otiosis discussionem, non valde displicebit silentium. Fletus aeternus et stridor ille dentium, ante cordis oculos reductus, pares tibi reddet mattam et culcitram. Denique si totum de nocte, quod Regula praecipit, bene ad psalmos vigilaveris; nimis durus erit lectus, in quo quiete non dormias. Si tantum in die, quantum professus es, manibus laboraveris; durus erit cibus quem libenter non comedas.
13. Surge, miles Christi, surge, excutere de pulvere, revertere ad praelium unde fugisti, fortius post fugam praeliaturus, gloriosius triumphaturus. Habet quidem Christus multos milites qui fortissime coeperunt, steterunt, vicerunt: paucos autem qui de fuga conversi, rursus se periculo ingesserint quod declinaverant; rursus fugarint hostes quos fugiebant. Et quia omne rarum pretiosum; gaudeo te de illis posse esse, qui quanto rariores, tanto apparebunt gloriosiores. Alias autem si multum timidus es, cur vel times ubi non est timor, non autem times ubi magis est timendum? An quia fugisti ex acie, putas te manus hostium evasisse? Libentius te insequitur adversarius fugientem, quam sustineat repugnantem; et audacius insistit a tergo, quam resistat in faciem. Securus nunc projectis armis capis matutinos somnos, cum illa hora Christus resurrexerit: et ignoras quod exarmatus, et tu timidior, et hostibus minus timendus sis? Armatorum multitudo circumvallaverunt domum, et tu dormis? Jam ascendunt aggerem, jam dissipant sepem, jam irruunt per posticum. Tutiusne est ergo tibi ut te inveniant solum, quam cum aliis; nudum in lectulo, quam armatum in campo? Expergiscere, sume arma, et fuge ad commilitones tuos, quos fugiens deserueras; ut qui te ab eis disjunxerat, ipse te denuo timor jungat. Quid armorum refugis pondus et asperitatem, delicate miles? Adversarius instans et circumvolantia spicula facient clypeum non esse oneri, loricam non sentiri vel galeam. Et quidem subito procedenti de umbra ad solem, de otio ad laborem, grave cernitur omne quod incipit; sed postquam ab his dissuescere, et ad illa se paulisper assuescere coeperit, usus tollit difficultatem, invenitque facile esse quod impossibile ante putavit. Solent etiam fortissimi milites audita buccina ante congressum trepidare; at ubi ad praelium ventum fuerit, spes victoriae, et timor ne vincantur, reddit intrepidos. Quid vero tu trepidas, quem fratrum unanimitas armatorum circummuniet, cui Angeli assistent a latere, quem dux belli Christus praeibit, suos animans ad victoriam, et dicens: Confidite, ego vici mundum? Si Christus pro nobis, quis contra nos? Securus potes pugnare, ubi securus es de victoria. O vere tuta cum Christo, et pro Christo pugna! in qua nec vulneratus, nec prostratus, nec conculcatus, nec millies (si fieri possit) occisus, fraudaberis a victoria, tantum ne fugias. Sola causa, qua perdere possis victoriam, fuga est. Fugiendo potes illam amittere, moriendo non potes: et beatus si pugnando moriaris, quia mortuus, mox coronaberis. Vae autem tibi, si declinando pugnam, perdis et victoriam simul et coronam! Quod ipse avertat a te, fili dilectissime, qui in judicio de his meis litteris majorem tibi habet inferre damnationem, si nullam ex eis in te repererit emendationem.